Whisky is a wide and diverse marketplace, in which liquids must fight for a place in the limelight. This fight is important, because otherwise they drams get lost in a warehouses, never to see the light of day.
Some whiskies try to gain a reputation through good marketing. Some rightfully gain a reputation because they are just great liquid. Then there is a last kind of whisky that gain a notoriety for a very different reason. Today’s dram is one of the latter category. In fact, this is a dram that warrants it own category. The “What the hell were they trying to do? Were they trying to distill the essence of B & Q?” category.
Today, we review The Fujikai, a dram “kindly” given to us by Adrian Barnett.
Appearance: Golden Yellow and Full of Promise.
Aroma: Cheap tires screeching under the wheels of a Chav’s badly souped up 90’s Astra, combined with cheap school erasers and the fume led smell of Humbrol Airfix paint, all flung casually into an open bin gently warming in the sun.
Taste: Initially the taste buds are assaulted by spice and fire of petroleum fumes, which hit the tongue and remove pleasant sensations from all areas of the mouth.
This oral assault continues unabated, with the flavours of paint peeling from a rotting wooden fence appearing next. Bringing a damp, rotting flavour to the tongue.
Just as you feel this dram cannot offer more, the “wooden notes” subside to be replaced by the unmistakable flavour of badly ageing, slimy cheap supermarket ham and new school erasers.
Mouthfeel: Disgusted? Assaulted? Ruined for an Evening?
Overall: Some drams make me wish time could stand still, just so that I can savour the flavour and joy that I am brought by them. This is the first whisky that I have drunk that made me wish I could erase an entire thirty minutes from my life. I can think of nothing that redeems even any small aspect of this whisky. In fact were you to have just eaten manna from heaven with Jesus himself before drinking this dram and still wish you hadn’t gotten out of bed for the day.
Real Dram Factor: The first and hopefully last -110 out of 10.
Source: All that remains is to “Thank” Mr Adrian Barnett. Just be careful who you trust people. Making friends with whisky geeks can be bad for your health.
More Information: Why? What are you thinking?
Buy Online: Please God don’t.